MEOW! Presents: The 5 Worst Films of the Year So Far. Also known as...GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

October 22nd, 2012

MEOW!

5.) Pitch Perfect--A genuinely mean-spirited film that represents men and the power of a capella horribly. And a woman vomits. Twice. You've been warned.



I did get pitch slapped. It was no fun.

4.) Rock of Ages--A jukebox musical that takes the pleasure out of 'guilty pleasure,' this film lacks the joy and energy that the songs presented here originally possess. Still, I don't stop believin' that these actors can get a good gig somewhere else.



3.) Dr. Seuss' The Lorax--Leaving aside the hypocrisy of its genuine message about protecting the environment, this film is an hour too long when it could've been shortened to about thirty minutes in length. Oh wait, it already was: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5jnJdnQPr8 You can watch Part Two on the same page.



2.) Dark Shadows--It's a good thing that Burton redeemed himself with Frankenweenie, but there's no denying that this had oh-so much potential. What a cast: Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter, and..what's this? What's this? Chloe Moretz from HUGO?? And by golly, a film about vampires that don't sparkle? At all? This sounds like an excellent recipe! So how? HOW could they have picked a film to perform in where they are given almost nothing to do? This film was a chore to sit through, and easily one of those films that I walked out of the theater upset at the end.



1.) Beasts of the Southern Wild--You go right ahead with your comments about how I put TED on my favorite films of the year list and not this, but at least there were characters and a story I could give the time of day to. This film...I will not give a second to. Now I knew how my sister felt when she expressed her hatrid toward Where the Wild Things Are (A film I personally admire a great deal. See that instead.). The fact that this film is getting more Oscar hype than The Perks of Being a Wallflower disgusts me, and if it does happen to get nominated over that, then it'll finally prove how the Academy flew over the Cuckoo's nest (Of course, that occurred almost a year ago when HUGO lost Best Picture to The Artist. I mean, I liked and respect The Artist a lot, but...D'OH. REALLY?) Skip this film at all cost if you can.



I tried holding hyperactive sparklers once. I was all burned out afterwards.

Wellp, until next time,

MEOW!