MEOW!
Disclosure: I watched AVATAR: The Last Airbender on Nickelodeon when I was a kid, but haven't gotten the opportunity to re-watch it in a long time. I do, however, remember loving it quite a deal, and I also remember my passion for the show annoying the be-cheesus out of my sister Erin. One other thing I remember about the show? One word says all: Momo. Part bat and part Zoboomafoo, he was easily one of the best aspects of the whole series, and is a character that makes me smile like a wee young lad once again. So when I first saw the teaser trailer for M. Night ShyamalamaBOOYAH's The Last Airbender, I was rather intrigued. That is...until...the fire nation came. Or should I say an audience of critics and moviegoers. Not only did it receive an insipid response from fanboys(and girls) of the show, but good lord, it also received a 6% from critics on Rotten Tomatoes. They weren't just wagging their fingers of shame at the post converted 3-D version; they were wagging their fingers of shame to almost everyone involved in this interpretation of the well-known cartoon series. That was unlike anything I've ever heard or seen. So I'll openly admit that the first time I've watched this film in its entirety was last night, even though I have seen some utterly despicable clips on YouTube beforehand. But I had to ask myself before watching this supposedly piece of smelly lettuce ("Lettuce leave?"): is it possible to not find ANYTHING good to say about M. Night ShyamalamaBOOYAH'S The Last Airbender?
Well, let's get this out of the way first: it's bad. And when I say bad, I mean that it truly is a piece of smelly lettuce for most of its running time. I sat there not only confounded as to why ShyamalamaBOOYAH made such stupid "artistic" choices (Just to name a few...or a lot: Aang (Noah Ringer) is pronounced "Ong," Uncle Iroh looks like a drunk Nicolas Cage even though he's supposed to be a Yoda-like wise-cracker, everybody is acting all serious even though it's not staying true to the spirit of the cartoon, there's a yell performed by the Northern Water Tribe that will go down as one of the most unintentionally hilarious moments in cinematic history, oh my god, the list goes on and on and etc.); I was also booooooooooored out of my skull, so much to the point that it doesn't deserve a cult following like Tommy Wiseau's masterpiece of intentional awfulness titled The Room. Why? Because, unlike The Room, this film is unintentionally awful. ShyamalamaBOOYAH is trying to metaphorically say "Behold, one and all, I have made a beautiful work of art that shall be taught at film schools all over the universe. I'm the next Hitchcock and Kubrick! Just look at my long takes. Look at my subtle performances. The world shall be free at last, free at last, thank GOD almighty, we'll be free at last! BOO-YAH!" If by freedom, he means having us frozen in a giant ice ball for the next few-hundred years until we all disintegrate into dust, then...yeah, he makes a bit of sense. The Last Airbender is one stinky piece of smelly ol' lettuce--one filled with bad performances, an incomprehensible screenplay, and an overall witless direction by our good friend M. Night ShyamalamaBOOYAH!
Now...with ALL of that being said...
I...well...I can actually find a couple of good things to say about it. I say *a couple* generously.
For those of you who don't know, I am an enormous fan of James Newton Howard, and he composed the score for this film. While I wouldn't rank it as my absolute favorite score of his, whenever it counts, the film surprisingly soars. There's one long take when Ong..er Aang and Katara (Nicola Peltz) are doing martial arts in a widely-white environment (very snowy over there), and Howard's composition that goes along with the shot is nothing short of stunning. Then there's the climax, where Aang creates a tidal wave of water based on thinking about his own past, which causes the ships of the fire nation to almost flip over. It would've made an enormous difference had Howard helped ShyamalamaBOOYAH direct this film. It's an absolutely beautiful sequence that doesn't belong in a film as terrible as this, but it does provide some much needed relief from the horribleness that came before.
And lo, what horribleness! There's a reading that is read via voice over by Katara when ShyamalamaBOOYAI'msodonewiththisjoke could have used his imagination a little bit more. By jove, he could have used his imagination in other scenes as well. I'm not one to pick on child or teenage actors, but the actors Shyamalan got to portray the roles of Aang, Katara and Sokka (Jackson Rathbone of Twilight fame...TA-DA!) are severely inexperienced; I've seen superior young(er) actors at the East Hartford Summer Youth Festival (who also DID NOT GET PAID FOR IT, AND POURED ALL OF THEIR HEARTS AND SOULS INTO THEIR PERFORMANCES. But I strongly digress). Momo gets side-lined for ninety-five percent of the film, Aasif Mandvi from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart is somehow in this film (nothing against him at all; it's just...really...odd seeing him in a film like this), it's too rushed, none of the characters are developed in the slightest, and unless if you're familiar with the cartoon, this film will make zero sense to you. ZERO to ZERO. Oh, give me a freakin' break.
It's an enormous lose-lose for both targeted groups: those who have an everlasting nostalgia over the cartoon, and those who are yearning to watch a really good film. The Last Airbender is a terrible exercise in self-indulgence by Shyamalan, who is responsible for the rage of critics and fanboys all around the world. And what's sad is that this film had a potential to be something wonderfully entertaining; just watch that beautiful climax out of context! While I wouldn't claim it as the worst film I've ever seen (God bless James Newton Howard), this one is a skip in either two or post-converted three dimensions.
Out of the sixteen letters of its title, I give The Last Airbender...
Until next time,
MOMO!
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