MEOW!
I am a sucker for any coming-of-age story set in the summertime, because while there is the inevitable heartache as summer reaches its end, any positive memory that you make has a lasting power for the rest of your life. None of that can be more evident when I'm with the East Hartford Summer Youth Festival. I know, some of you who read my posts have heard it time and time again, but oh, the stories I can tell surrounding my adventures with some involved. I can talk in detail about those who made my first summer as an EHSYF member one for the ages, or I could talk about the events that occurred before and during the midnight screening of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows--Part Two. Those stories I could tell--and I assure you that this next comment is not of arrogance but of genuine honesty--would probably be more exciting, heartfelt and realistic than anything I saw in The Way, Way Back, a cliched, shallow and unbelievably unlikable coming-of-age story that has a ton of electrons and a shortage of protons.
Let's see if you've heard this concept a-ways back, shall we? A depressed teenager (Liam James) heads to an unknown setting for the summer with his family. His jerk of a step-father (Steve Carell) is all "you know what you are, son? A three out of ten, which is close to the score of some reviewer's opinion on the film that we're coincidentally in." His loving but inattentive mother (Toni Collette) is all "you should get out of the house and get to know where you'll be living for the summer. As Charles Muntz says, 'adventure is out there!'" His witch of a sister (Zoe Levin) reluctantly takes him to the beach, and is all "Ugh. You're such a loser. Why can't you be a snot like me and everyone else in this stereotypical-to-the-point-of-unrealistic universe? Hmph." Then Sylvia, the owner of what used to be a honky-tonk, is all "you know what you need, Jim? A new wife. Or a dog."
Wait a suede...that's not in the film; that's me still recovering from All Shook Up withdrawal. Well, it would be more interesting than what we have here.
{Side-note: There are ton of overt EHSYF references in this film, especially when the Water Wizz-ard (Sam Rockwell) references "Holding Out For A Hero" from Footloose.}
But I digress. The depressed teenager finds sanctuary with two people. One is a blonde soul surfer (AnnaSophia Robb, who was charming in Bridge to Terabithia but insultingly wasted here) who is all "you know, I relate to you. I'm going to fall in love with you as I'm supposed to in a contrived and predictable manner." Then there is the Water-Wizzard, who is all "Son, I'm going to take you under my wing just like what Drillbit Taylor did with those three high schoolers. Please tell me you know the reference to the film I made just now. No? Well...um....c'mon kid, I'll show you around." As the depressed teenager is taken under the Water-Wizzard's wing, he finally figures out what his purpose in the world is. Spoiler alert: Unlike Hugo Cabret, he doesn't come across the great George Meiles for guidance.
If the word 'shallow' was in a "movies + entertainment dictionary" created by yours truly, it would eventually be followed by "literally see The Way, Way Back." The characters in this script behave as either contrived plot devices (the blonde Soul Surfer), jarring caricatures (the Water-Wizzard), or one-dimensional stereotypes (the depressed teenager...oh-ho-ho, we shall get to him in a minute) with little to no depth whatsoever, and all of them are contained in an environment that is inappropriate for their stories to be told. If this was a hyper-realistic animated film created by a studio like PIXAR, I can see their stories being told predictably but appropriately well. Yet, this is a live-action film that aspires to be raw and believable throughout the entirety of its running time, and as is, it plays out like something that would be more suited as episodes for television, whether it is a sit-com on Comedy Central, or a nighttime drama on FOX. Either way, I wouldn't give a half-an-hour of my time for characters that are either shallow or confusingly unlikable.
Ah yes, another word to add to my dictionary: unlikable. Along with the surprisingly mean-spirited Pitch Perfect, this film is populated with characters that I personally couldn't stand once I had officially reached the fifteen-minute mark. I could go on about the jerk of a step-father, or even the witch of a sister, but no, I'm here to discuss about our main character: the depressed teenager. Wow...just...wow. In my opinion, I found him to be one of the most unintentionally unlikable protagonists ever to be committed on paper. What's worse? I understand his pain. His biological father left the family in order to hook up with another woman. That's an incredibly difficult thing to deal with, and I would be surprised if people tried to find happiness in under a couple of weeks. But what do we get instead of him trying to find happiness with what he already has? We get him whining about "Ugh, I wanna be with Dad. Waaaah" while he sings about he "can't fight this feeling anymore (which is such an overused song to the point that it was actually used before the end credits of Horton Hears A Who!)" and sneaks away to a water park without his mother's permission in order to avoid the one who gave birth to him.
And this is where I kind of get a little R-rated....
R. YOU. F---IN'. KIDDING. ME?
First of all, I know his mother is not the most well-written of characters, but at least she tries to find happiness in her life. Even when she's with the jerk of a step-father, and sometimes ignores her son constantly, she moves on like a mature, responsible adult should, even if it can lead her down a bitter, conflicted path occasionally. Her son...not even close. He always tries to find a way out of the predicament instead of coping with a difficult situation. If he actually learned what his mother was going through, and maybe watched a couple of flicks that showed him how precious life can be, then maybe it could allow him to come of age in that direction rather than the one he goes through in this film. Nope, he NEVER sees through her eyes at any point in this film, which is one of the worst traits that can ever be given to not only a character, but an actual human being, which is EXACTLY WHAT HE IS BEING PORTRAYED AS IN THE SCRIPT. And the ending....oh my god. Don't get me started on the ending. It ends on such a smug note that I almost wanted to rip my hair out and become bald like Daddy Warbucks. Characters like him frustrate the dickens out of me because the script is saying "see, he has troubles. He has problems that any teen can relate to. YOU SEE?" NO, SCRIPT. I DON'T SEE YOUR PRETENTIOUS REASONINGS. Real problems are something like having your father pass away, and trying to cope with your heartbroken mother and sibling. Yet, with every day that a heart breaks, there is always a day where the heart aches with joy. Oh, he finds joy alright, but he finds it in the most despicable way possible: betraying your broken family and fixing it by saying "HA! I'M ALWAYS RIGHT!" No kid, you're not always right. You have wrongs as well. But hey, I guess you're too ignorant to see that, eh? You know what? I'm done with you for now, but I will have more for you when I announce my least favorite films of 2013. Until then, I'll see you later, you selfish fishbowl of unholy shallowness. Say hi to Bella Swan for me, will ya?
2013 in film hasn't been an excellent year for film (films like Man of Steel and Spring Breakers are one-of-a-kind exceptions), but there hasn't been a film that managed to make me feel genuinely angry than The Way, Way Back. The more I think about it, the more sour both the film and I become. There is no creativity in its filmmaking or screenwriting, no passion from any of the actors involved, and no depth given to any of the characters, especially when talking about that selfish fishbowl of unholy shallowness himself. It personally affected me in the wrong way as a film-lover and a person overall. You want realism? Go watch Before Midnight. You want an absolutely wonderful coming-of-age story? Please, please, pleeeeeeease try to find The Perks of Being A Wallflower. And you want to hear a good story about my adventures with EHSYF? I'll be happy to write one and save you a few bucks. You want to see a good film? In my opinion, this is not it. The Way, Way Back is, sadly, my least favorite film of the year so far, and unlike its title and despicable main character, I intend to keep moving forward and try to find meaning in everyone I can possibly meet.
My overall rating: three out of ten. YOU LOSE. GOOD DAY, SIR!
Until next time,
MEOW!
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